it's official...

well, i've been going on and on about the impending end of my undergrad life in uniten. i've had a few post to express what i hoped was an accurate account of my feelings before, during and after my "final" final exams. i've spoken about the excitement, the euphoria, the relief...
but now, at this very moment, it is official... i have handed in my thesis on the 300407 at 1500 hours and that, my friends, signals the end. yup... i've crossed the finish line and i've taken the chequered flag...

anyway, this doesn't feel too special... hahaha... what a contradiction huh?

get well soon...

to kam:

hey bro, really sorry to hear bout your dad. seeing him in the hospital today, i can't imagine how it must be like for you and your family to bear these past few days. just have faith and everything will be fine... i really can't think of anything else to say...

bro, if you need anything at anytime, just give me a call ok?

take care. and take care of your mum k?

hope your dad gets well soon...

update...

relief...

i guess that best explains my feelings right now. although i didn't have the best of finishes in uniten, but the relief i felt after the paper was overwhelming. i said i didn't have the best of finishes coz it was indeed one of the worst final papers i have ever had in uniten. the paper had 3 questions - one took me and hour to complete, one was bloody confusing and the other, i have no idea how to solve.

so, mechatronics, you've spoilt it for me.

but, no matter how the paper was, once i stepped out of the exam hall, all i could think of was the times that i've had in uniten. the good and the bad times. i still remember the nervous wreck that i was when i sat for my fist paper in this hall. and now, i'm stepping out of it for the last time.

anyway, i didn't have much time to think about how i was feeling after the paper. once i got home, i rushed to get my bags packed and before long, i was on the plane to kuantan, pahang. from there i was picked up and about 90 minutes later, i'm in kemaman, terengganu.

like i've said, i was there for an interview, a practical screening. and from what i've seen, the job is definitely a challenge. however, i do have a feeling that the true challenge will be whether i do accept the job when it is offered. i've always known that the job will be tough. i always felt that it is the kind that i would enjoy. but i do have some doubt - if i have what to takes to perform.

anyway, it's getting really late and i've gotta be up early tomorrow to continue my final year project. have some post processing to do. i know i'm jumping here and there with this post, but i'm exhausted right now. and i dun think there is much of a point in talking about the job until it's offered. so, finger's crossed...

till next time, good night and sweet dreams...

this is it...

this is it...

5 more hours to my final examination... my final paper after 4 years in uniten. i actually visualized this moment during my first semester. and now that it's finally here, it seems surreal. probably coz i'm just too tired. or maybe it's also because, it suddenly didn't seem to be such a big deal.

life goes on...

anyway, as soon as i finish my paper tomorrow, i will have to start packing as i'm flying over to kemaman, terengganu for a field assessment. basically, it's a practical screening for one of the job interviews that i've been attending. wish me luck!

that's a pretty good way to end my years as an undergraduate huh? anyway, my flight is at 1710 hours and i'll be flying back to kl the next day at 1830 hours. so it's gonna be kinda hectic for me - especially with my final year project presentation next tues (170407).

well, that's enough break for now. i need to get back to my books. i wanna end my uniten life with a bang!

final steps...

i dunno why i keep posting bout this, but somehow at this stage, it just seems necessary... you know, like it's "the thing to do"...

anyway, i'm talking bout me being in my final semester, sitting for my "final" final exams...

right at this moment, it's two down and one to go... =)

so it's just one more paper, one more presentation and one more thesis - all to be completed by the 30th of April which gives me about 3 weeks... after that, i'm done!

and you know what? at this very moment, as i'm typing away at my computer, i dun really want to be done. i don't. why?

that's a good question and i dun really have the answer. i guess the closest i could think of is - i'm afraid. truly frightened. afraid of the fact i'm leaving the security of being a student... afraid of taking up my first full time job... afraid of facing the harsh world out there... afraid of acknowledging the realities of life...

i've always not dealt with uncertainties well... just dun have the confidence or the courage to do so... every time i have a situation to face, i will have all the possibilities figured out... although i can't cover all possibilities to every event in my life, but i've done pretty much alright... you won't believe the kind of things that i imagine in my head all the time... and i'll always have the solution to every possibility... well, almost every possibility... there is always a chance where something comes and hits you from behind and just knocks you unconscious...

anyway, what i'm trying to say, i guess, is that i don't know wat to expect after this three weeks. i know my life will change. but i don't know how and i can't even tell the magnitude of the change. and this is bothering me. i guess 17 years in the education system has made me comfortable. and i dun want to leave this comfort zone. not now. not yet.

if only...

if only
you strummed the strings of my heart
if only
you sang to the tune of my soul
if only
you danced to the rhythm of my life
if only
you held to the silence of my thoughts
if only...

ps: if only i could continue writing this article, it might turn out pretty good... but i ran out of "if only"... =)

will i miss this?

well, i'm talking about the feelings running through me right now as i prepare for my final "final exams"... the normal feelings are there... you know... anxiety, nervousness, freaking out, not knowing what to expect, feeling tired although i've had more than enough sleep... oh yeah, and the feeling that anything is more interesting than my books right now... but, there are some new feelings added this time around...

relief? joy? excitement? sad? not wanting to move on...

i mean... this is it you know? after 17 years in the education system, i'm finally graduating! i'm moving on to a new phase in my life... you know what i mean?

(jason and kam - i know you two have moved past this... but, can you remember how you felt when it was your final "finals"?)

anyway, uniten has been good to me... had a few great frens, more than a few great lecturers...

anyway, i've just got another 5 days to my first paper... it's on a saturday... imagine that! so back to my books for the last time? i really can't describe the feeling going through me right now...

amazing race asia?

hi...

just wondering, would anyone be interested in taking part in the next edition of the amazing race asia with me?

hahaha... this is actually a question for kam and/ or jason in particular... or even jacky, ang, zihui... but these guys never do read my blog... so...

kam/ jason... interested?

i'm interested in the 100k cash prize and also because i'll be free for about 3 months once i graduate... =)

wrong attraction?

it feels weird when my leg is getting more attention than me. everytime i walk past ppl these past couple of days, they would just turn back to look at my leg. feels really weird. well, actually i know why they do that. but it's still weird.

the reason? last thurs i played futsal with jacky and friends... at one point, i jumped to avoid a tackle and i landed awkwardly on my left leg. with that, my ankle was twisted pretty bad. to make things worse, i skinned my knee around the size of a 50 cent coin (slightly larger actually) and it's pretty deep too.

at first, i thought it was just a twisted ankle although the chinese physician that i went to suggested that i probably fractured my ankle. well, i dun think it's that bad - the pain has subsided (it's already been a week!) but the thing is right now, my foot is still swollen and it still hurts around my ankle. it feels like my whole leg is bruised especially at the joints, it feels like my foot is blue-black (i dunno how to describe this)...

ok... back to the story of ppl staring at my foot... it's probably just because i have been limping around uniten for the past week... hahaha...

ps: you know the sad part of the story? i just bought a new pair of shoes and that was the first time i wore that pair for futsal... talk about lousy luck... =(

beginning of the end...

i'm updating my blog from uniten's library. this could most probably be the last time i will do so. and honestly, i can't remember when was the previous time i actually did this... was it in my first year? or second year? it all seems so long ago.

right now, i'm in the middle of the traditionally hectic time of the semester. with about 3 weeks to go to my finals... and about 7 weeks to hand in my thesis (signalling the end of my career as an undergraduate), things can't get more cramped than this...

next week, i'll have 2 tests, a project to hand in and a presentation. the week after that, i will have to hand in the draft copy of my thesis and my final year project logbook. the following week, i'll be having my finals which will be on the 7th, 8th and 10th of april. at least this finals i will only have three papers to worry about and i won't have any continuous papers like last sem...

once the finals are over, i'll have about 5 days to get ready for my final year project presentation and my thesis is due on the 30th of april.

so how's that for a tight schedule? i can barely breath... but i'm still trying my best to not let the pressure get over me. this is my final sem and i'm trying my best to get it over with as relaxed as possible.

so, wish me luck and hopefully i will be able to update my blog before everything is done... i guess this period of time may not be the most important of my life... but it will certainly be a defining moment... whatever the outcome, i couldn't have wished for more... =)

and now, i shall return to war... hahaha...

title and comments please...

i wrote this when i was a little bit angry... just a little... let me emphasize on the "little"...

ok... and when you read this, just keep in mind that it is about no one... the characters do not exists... the "i" is definitely not me and the "you" refers to no one in particular...

you see... when i write these poems/articles... i like to take my feelings at that particular moment and magnify it by 10... or maybe 100... so some might find my writings a bit to extreme but i say it gives my writings more emotion... you've got your way, i've got mine...

now, what i need to complete this article/ poem... is a title... i just can't figure out one that is suitable...

and probably some comments from anyone... i dun think this piece is good... just i haven't written in a while... so... comments ok? anything... just leave it here...

I love you, more than anything
I hate you, almost just as much
What am I to do with you?
How do I love and not hate?

Stop messing with me and love me
Stop being a person and be my love
Stop caring about anything but us
Stop being an individual but a partner

Sacrifices has to be made
Sacrifices do not hurt
Sacrifices are voluntary actions
Sacrifices are our bond

I will not cross the barren desert
I will not climb the highest mountain
I will not walk through the fires of hell
I will change myself for you

I will not endure all those torture
Not because I am not willing to
But I know you will not allow it
You will not force me through pain

I have faith in you
I need the faith repaid
I have trust in you
I need the trust repaid

I love you, more than anything
I will continue to love you
Yes that I will do, yes
Love without consequences

Motorola IVEC 2007 : part 2 (v2.0)

hmm... just when i thought i've managed to reduce my to do list, i've gotta start all over again... ok... explanation about the "v2.0" on my title - this is my second try in getting this entry done... i've actually completed it once but my streamyx failed me and i lost the post... the entire post... so forgive me if this post is not as comprehensive... i've lost the mood...

so... where did i stop in part 1? right... the second stage...

the second stage of the the competition, there are 2 parts... first, there'll be a treasure hunt with 5 stations and at each station, we'll be given an iq question. if we solved it, we'll be given an item. these items would eventually help us in completing the second part of the second stage. for the second part, we'll be given an incomplete motorola 2-way radio and with the items which we've obtained during the treasure hunt, we are given one hour to fix the radio and also to make sure that it is water resistant. we can seal the phone however we want to, as long as it is not visible once the radio is assembled. the 3 radios which can last the longest submerged in water without leaking, will then be weighed to see who can complete the task with minimum item. the top two groups will then proceed on to stage three. sounds simple right?

so, after we were briefed, we were all waiting with excitement for the treasure hunt to begin. sadly, some miscommunication by the organizers led to the cancellation of the treasure hunt. so instead of running around to obtain our items, we were given the iq questions in a classroom. i think our group did quite well in this stage as we've managed to solve 4 out of the 5 questions. not bad, huh? i'll try to draw some of the questions and post it later... (if i've got the time which i highly doubt it)... hehehe...

so, with the items in our hands, we started fixing the 2 way radio. in this part of the competition, we kinda attracted a lot of attention from the motorola judges... i was surprised as they were always standing around our group. but when i took a look around, i found out why... you see, in solving this task, our group was pretty animated. we were always moving around, walking, standing, sitting on the table, discussing... you get the picture, right? but the other groups... they actually sat down quietly (i can't hear anyone but us talking actually) and just did the task like it was an exam... well, i brought this up coz i was just curious - how can you work in a group without talking? hmm...

at the end of the hour, all the radios were submerged into a tank simultaneously and the intense wait begun. we've waited for about 45 minutes before all but 3 radios were eliminated. and guess what? we've made it into the top 3! hahaha... we were elated!

with much higher hopes and much more optimism, we held our breath as the 3 radios were weighed. much to our disappointment, we were the heaviest phone among the 3. what made it worse was the fact that we lost out to um by merely 4 grams! so you know how light that is?

with that, um and iium made it into the third stage which somehow reminded me of those quizzes which we usually watch on tv. the only difference is that this one had a really bad host. anyway, iium went on to win the competition and sparked a small controversy which left a bad taste with some participants.

you see, there were complaints by certain participants on how the whole competition were in iium's favour in the first place. and there were also some suggestion on how the quiz seems to require a substantial amount of luck rather than engineering knowledge and um lost because of the confusing rules. well, i wouldn't want to go any further than that.

as far as i'm concerned, we went to iium with no preparation and absolutely no expectations. we've emerged as the second runners-up and 250 bucks richer per person (the prize money for second runners-up is 1 thousand bucks). more importantly, in the spirit of the game, is that we lost to a better team. i honestly believed that. so i've got no complaints. =)

here are some pictures of us at the prize giving ceremony... =)

this was the hall where the prize giving ceremony was held... looks grand huh?

let's give it up for the champions!!! ok... second runners-up...

the first, second and third placed team with the dean of engineering, iium

from the left: siow yien, pui leng, chuu liu and the great one... muahahaha (evil laughter please)...

ps: this is the first time i've won any prize which requires a mock cheque and i'm still keeping the mock cheque...hahaha...

getting old?

recently i've discovered that i can't really do things that i would have breezed through a few years ago... and i'm not even talking about any physical activities here. last weekend, i was trying to catch up on lost time with my final year project, so i basically slept about 3 hours a day and the rest of the day was spent in front of my computer screen... however, by the third day, i was feeling kinda sick and really, really exhausted. i ended up in bed with cold and fever...

the events of the past three days made me think - i used to be able to sleep 3 hours a day for a whole week without feeling any effects... what was so different? am i really getting older? is this really the result of one getting older? i'm only 24 for crying out loud! how can i be old?

whatever the reason is, i've gotta start taking better care of my body... with my final sem into it's last month, i can't risk getting sick and screwing up my final weeks as a student...

on a lighter note, i spent the week during chinese new year in my grandma's house in penang... it's the usual cny mood i guess - noisy, hot and lotsa food... =) but it was good spending time back in my parents' hometown. kinda relaxing i guess...

anyway, i've captured some photos of my favourite "symbol" of the chinese new year - the lion dance! i've always enjoyed watching these ever since i was a kid and i'm still amazed by it. so here you go... it's not the fancy lion dance performance that you find in shopping malls, these are those that goes around the village to perform to anyone who welcomes these "lions"...

final payment...

with this invoice and receipt, i've finally paid up the whole sum required for my four year degree course of mechanical engineering in UNITEN. the total tuition fee alone costs about rm 40k in total.

this post is just a reminder for myself on the amount of money invested to be an engineer... i hope i do not waste it... =)

Motorola IVEC 2007 : part 1

ourlast weekend i joined an engineering competition mainly sponsored by motorola (hence the title) for fun. it's held in the international islamic university (iium) in gombak from fri (12/01/07) to (14/01/07). basically, it's a group event and each university is only allowed to send in 2 teams. luckily for me, students of uniten aren't so keen in joining such competitions so i got the chance to represent my uni.

so, all i know about the competition before i left home for iium is the fact that it has three stages and each stage is an elimination round. but to be honest, the fact that the competition is gonna be held in iium interest me more. i've heard so much about this university that it fascinates me - the culture, the belief, the practice... ermm... i might sound a little bit racist here, but i assure you i am not... i am just curious...

so anyway, once i reached iium, the first thing that struck me is how beautiful the university is... i guess it has got the best location for a uni in malaysia with highlands as it's backdrop throughout the university...

ok... back to the competition, i was grouped with chuu liu (my batch, mech eng), pui leng (my batch, electrical eng) and siow yien (junior, electrical eng). i have to add here that we arrived in iium with totally no expectation whatsoever especially since we totally did not prepare ourselves. but when we heard that whoever advances to the second stage (top 10) will receive 500 bucks, it automatically became our target.

anyway, the first stage of the competition was divided into three parts:

- part one: problem solving. we were presented with a problem and then we were given one hour to solve it and present it to the motorola engineers.

- part two: practical test. this is where every member of the group will have to choose a task between c-programming, manual drawing, workshop and circuit lab work. i choose manual drawing as i was the most qualified in our team i guess.

- part three: a multiple choice quiz where every mistake will cost us a -1 point. this quiz covers everything from engineering questions to general knowledge to iq questions.

so, the day actually started well and after i presented our idea in the first part of stage one, i was quietly confident. but when the day went on and i sat for the practical test, my confidence shrunk. i thought i was good in manual drawing... but let's just say i'm totally wrong! that's not the worst part yet... when i sat for the mcq quiz, my confidence was virtually non-existent... at the end of it all, we were quite exhausted so we headed out of the campus to re-energize ourselves with a huge dose of mcdonald's! hahaha...

then, the next day arrived, the moment we were all waiting for... and guess what? after the first stage, we were in the fifth place! we're through to the second round! now the confidence is back and there's an air of anticipation among us... so we were now eagerly looking forward to the second stage...

and for the second stage of the competition, i'll continue with that in the next post... i know there's a possibility that next post to come after a few weeks, but it's almost 3am now and i've got a fully packed day tomorrow... so... good night!

here i am in iium! this is the main building of iium i think... well, it's the first building as we enter the gate and it looks kinda majestic...

the mosque in iium... i was told that it's the center point of the university and i would expect no less actually... but truth be told, it all looks really grand...

feeling blue...

i've been feeling a little bit on the down side the past couple of days. no idea why and although it's become something of a rarity these days, i still hate these mood swings. i can't control it as much as i can't control the sun giving way to the moon... but talking about it, even writing about it here makes me feel weak...

and i hate that feeling...

welcome 2007

i ushered in the new year with great caution and worry... 2007 could be a huge in both extremes - it might turn out to be the year that changed my life for the better or worse... in three months, i will be graduating and with that i will be faced with a list of decisions accompanied by many consequences... come to think of it, all my life, the choices that i had to make were rather straightforward and simple...

after my primary school, i applied for the best high school at the time and i was offered a place... after spm, i decided to challenge myself with stpm, a choice which i learnt to regret at first but i started to appreciate it more as time goes by... i've learnt a great deal from my 2 years spent in form 6... not particularly enriching my knowledge but more on the "real world" - i know, it's a little bit too cliche...

the choices set in front of me after my stpm were trimmed due to my pretty screwed-up result and also partly due to my stubbornness in wanting no less than to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering or chemical engineering... no more UM, USM, UTM and the likes... i was offered a place in Kolej Universiti Teknologi Tun Hussein Onn to do mech eng actually which i wasn't keen on enrolling - i was advised not to in fact by many ppl... i had to forget about private colleges and overseas education as well due to the financial situation.. therefore, i settled on applying for UNITEN and UTP, both being semi-private therefore affordable...

the choice of enrolling in UNITEN actually was made based on location more than anything else... i would have preferred UTP coz i actually had chemical engineering as my first choice and UNITEN only offered mechanical... but since UNITEN is just 25km away from home and about 5 thousand bucks cheaper per year, the choice is pretty much clear...

so far, i've got not much complaints... none at all actually... but in three months, the first and most obvious decision that i have to make is do i cont my studies or do i plunge head first into the working world? i know myself well enough to make the conclusion that once i start working, i can't sit my ass down to study anymore... but i do not want to blindly give up my pursuit in education that i look back 5 years from now and think to myself "what if?"... no... i do not want to regret any decision that i make now...

so what do i do? i haven't got the faintest idea... not yet anyway...

i'm back!

hey there...

i'm back home after one week in kota kinabalu with shell's gourami business challenge. it was loads of fun! anyway, more about that later...

right now, i'm finally into the last semester of my degree in uniten and it's actually going into it's 4th week now... i hope this last sem of mine will be nothing but smooth...

and finally new year is here... this new year will be kinda different as ly is no longer celebrating it with me... after 6 new year's eve with her, this year is definitely a little bit strange...

hmm... i know this entry is all a one-liner update, but i'm in a rush... i'll be spending new year's eve with my family this year and we'll be going of to port dickson in a couple of hours time... so i've got to start packing now...

i'll be back with more news bout the gourami challenge soon... and for now, i'll just leave you all with a group pic taken during my stay in kk...

industrial training part 1

here's a really belated post about my industrial training and my 3 month stay in penang... i'm not really in the mood to type a long post, therefore i'll let the pics do most of the talking... =)

first and foremost, this is where i work... it used to be agilent technologies alone but they kinda sold their semicon dept to avago technologies and they are currently sharing the same building... the working experience was beneficial i would say... it was valuable not in any technical sense but more in the sense that i was exposed to a real working environment - the "real world" as my supervisor would say...

and this is where i stayed... it cost 500 bucks a month but i shared it with 3 other uniten mates so it's 125 per person... it has 2 rooms, 1 bath, 1 toilet, a comfortable living room and kitchen and it even has a tiny balcony... not too bad and i got quite comfortable living there too... provided some memorable moments...

this here was my room for that 3 months... i slept on the top and as you can see, that's my comp... u didn't think i'd leave my comp at home for three months did you? i can't survive 3 months without my precious... =)

that place really ain't too bad... there's even a river view from my house... hehehe... and from the picture, you can see my ever trusty ride - the classic white proton saga... it's old but reliable (most of the time, anyway)...

hmm... i can't seem to post anymore pictures... i guess there is a limit on the size of each blog... so i'll make this a 2 part blog - second half coming right up!

can't forget (but life goes on...)

the events of nov the 3rd still lingers fresh in my memory. will i ever forget it ever happened? i doubt it... but i pray each night that i will have the courage somewhere in my heart to forgive them... in the meantime, life goes on...

sometime last week, a couple of days after my finals were over (i kinda lost track of time), i received a call from shell... well, good news i guess but i'm not really in the mod to rejoice right now... anyway i'll be flying to kota kinabalu on the 13th of dec to join the shell gourami business challenge... basically they (shell) will be bringing a group of asian undergraduates together to see how well we work together and how well we perform (i dun really know the tasks yet)... if we're good enough, they'll offer us a job... i'm not too optimistic right now but i'll just take it as a break... and if we're gonna be staying at any of the islands in sabah then it could turn out to be a splendid holiday... =)

hmm... my mind is blank... i guess that's it for now...

one more thing - i'm currently on my one month break which will be until the 11th of dec but i'll be rather busy this one month trying to complete my final year project... so i guess there's not much plan for having fun... =(